小屁孩日记

　　星期天Sunday

　　上周班里随堂考试，考的那本书我还没读过。我确信老妈在我出生之前给我念过，但就是一点细节都记不起来了。Last week in school we had a pop quiz on a book， and I hadn’t read it yet.I was pretty sure Mom read that one to me before I was born，but I couldn’t remember any of the details.

　　其实，当初老妈在念的时候，我要是能认真点听进去就好了。I actually wish I’d paid more attention when Mom was reading to me，though.

　　我估计在老妈给我念那本书的那个星期，我正忙着干别的事。I guess the week Mom was reading that book，I was busy doing something else.

　　好笑的是，老妈跟我说话其实完全不需要用麦克风。The crazy thing is，Mom didn’t NEED to use the microphone for me to hear her.

　　我就在她肚子里啊，她说的每个字我都能听见，而且想不听都不行。I mean，I was inside of her，so I could hear every word she said whether I wanted to or not.

　　我简直什么都能听见。所以当老爸和老妈亲热的时候，我也不得不在里面听着。I could also hear just about EVERYTHING that was happening on the outside.So when Mom and Dad got all mushy， I had to listen to THAT， too.

　　看到身边的人激情四射还真不自在，尤其是自己爸妈。我想方设法制止他们，但他们就是不识趣。I’ve never really felt comfortable when people are acting affectionate around me，especially when it’s my parents.I tried to get them to stop，but they never got the message.

　　而且我无论做什么，结果都只会更糟。In fact，everything I tried just seemed to make things WORSE.