小屁孩日记

　　SUNDAY星期天

　　有几个同学会写自己的名字，还有一两个能从一数到五十。我知道我是骑马都赶不上了，于是我决定向他们传输错误信息来拖慢他们的进度。A few of my classmates could write their own names， and one or two could count all the way to fifty. I knew I couldn’t keep up， so I decided to try and slow everyone else down by feeding them bad information.

　　事与愿违，托儿所老师跟老妈说我学颜色和形状都不如其他孩子快。老妈说我很聪明，一定是因为缺乏挑战所以学习积极性不足。My plan kind of backfired， though， and my preschool teacher told Mom I wasn’t learning my colors and shapes like the other kids. But Mom said I was smart and that maybe the problem was I wasn’t being challenged enough.

　　于是老妈就不让我上托儿所了，跳了一级直接上了幼儿园。这是个空难性的决定。So Mom actually took me out of preschool and had me skip a grade， to kindergarten. But that decision was a total disaster.

　　幼儿园里的孩子在我看来就像巨人一样，他们连剪刀都会用，涂颜色时还能不涂出框。The kids in kindergarten seemed like giants to me， and they knew how to do stuff like cut with scissors and color inside the lines.

　　我在幼儿园连一天都没挺过去，教师赶紧打电话让老妈来把我领走了。I didn’t even make it a whole day in kindergarten before the teacher had to call Mom to come get me.

　　第二天，老妈把我送回托儿所，问老师能不能将我安排到原来的位置上。但愿休学记录不会跟我一辈子，要是大家发现我有幼儿园辍学经历的话，我将来要找份好工作就难了。The next day Mom brought me back to preschool and asked the teacher if I could have my cubby back. I just hope your academic record doesn’t follow you around， because it might be tough for me to get a good job later on if people find out I was a kindergarten dropout.

　　MONDAY星期一

　　老妈一定是发现她在我身上用的这套没什么效果，所以她对曼尼采取了完全不同的方法。I’m pretty sure Mom decided that whatever she tried with me when I was little didn’t work out， because she’s taking a totally different approach with Manny.

　　首先，老妈让曼尼随意看电视，爱看什么就看什么。所以他一天24小时锁定《大头星人》。For starters， Mom pretty much lets Manny watch whatever he wants on TV. So he deeps it on this show called “The Snurples” twenty-four hours a day.

　　我看过几次《大头星人》，完全不知所云。大头星人有自己的语言，我估计只有三岁小孩才听得懂。I tried to watch “The Snurples” a few times， but I had no idea what was going on. The Snurples have their own language that I guess only three-year-olds can understand.

　　自从曼尼看了那个节目之后，他就开始为家人不能理解他而苦恼了。After Manny watches the show， he gets frustrated when no one in our family can understand him.

　　有一天，老妈在报纸上读到一篇文章，说看《大头星人》会导致小孩子语言能力比同龄人落后近一年，而且社交能力严重受影响。But the other day Mom read an article in the newspaper that said watching “The Snurples” actually sets kids back about a year with their language development and messes up their social skills， too.

　　那就怪不得了。曼尼没什么朋友，每次老妈邀请别的孩子来家里做客，曼尼是唯一一个不怎么跟别的孩子一起玩的。Well， that explains a lot. Manny doesn’t have any real friends， and whenever Mom hold playgroup at out house， Manny is the only one who doesn’t interact with the other kids.

　　我看一部分原因是曼尼不愿意跟别人分享他的玩具。每次孩子们来家里玩的时候，曼尼就把自己锁在老狗阿甜的围栏里，独霸所有玩具。I think part of the issue is that Manny doesn’t like to share his toys. So when kids come over， Manny locks himself inside our old dog Sweetie’s exercise pen and keeps his toys all to himself.